This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a sales catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.